Should I or Shouldn't I?
Ryan* was up at 3am again, dreading her upcoming trip to visit her family with her boyfriend. He understood her better than any other partner she’d had, the sex was good, they lived together well, but she was often disappointed. They had few common interests, he didn’t add much to the conversation when they got together with her friends or family. He spent way too many hours playing video games, but he made her laugh when he managed to put down the controller. She wasn’t as happy as her friends seemed to be in their relationships, but she couldn’t really imagine not being together either. She watched the numbers on the clock change, as she mentally compared her relationship to every other relationship she knew, wishing she could figure out what to do.
We all have mixed feelings from time to time. It’s part of being human. Life’s pretty complex, relationships are complex, and it’s healthy to be able to hold multiple feelings at once. Sometimes, though, we are faced with a relationship or situation where we feel so mixed up, so uncertain, that we become stuck in a state of chronic ambivalence.